tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post2773319641815330010..comments2023-10-09T14:33:15.856+01:00Comments on Moving on to the next plan: Talking it overHope Springshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16380949423334441581noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-64293311342091613622010-11-30T06:24:27.007+00:002010-11-30T06:24:27.007+00:00After all the support that you have given me throu...After all the support that you have given me throughout all of this, I feel rather awful that I haven't been there for you in the past few months. It seems you've been having a rough go of it, and I wish with all my heart that I had been more attentive. Please know I thought of you (and think of you!) all the time, and that I am always sitting in your corner, even if it's sometimes rather quietly. <br /><br />Moving onto this next step, of donor anything, is a difficult one, wrought with all sorts of feelings and thoughts that aren't easy to process or understand. So you know, I feel the exact same way about the his/mine biology stance. I never could bear the thought of having a child that was biologically only my husband's and not mine. Maybe it's selfish, maybe it's juvenile, but it's how I felt, and how I would feel given the same situation today (and PB feels the same way). You're definitely not alone in that. Don't beat yourself up about it. :)Myndihttp://tenaciouslyttc.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-45671645924965245802010-11-30T03:44:15.170+00:002010-11-30T03:44:15.170+00:00Oh hope springs, I think you guys will get on the ...Oh hope springs, I think you guys will get on the same page eventually. DH's just need a bit more time to process everything and mine is exactly the same. And your reasons for wanting to try donor embryos are sound. You are not horrible at all. AT ALL.<br />I hope what I'm about to say doesnt come out wrong but aside from all the good reasons that youve mentioned I think that the fact that you currently have a diagnosis that is both male and female related is what makes embryo donation so amazing. I must admit, your DH's response of "but then it gets nothing from me" is not one I had considered either. But I do think that pregnancy as a whole would be a real bonding experience for you both and from what I've heard from other parents of donor embryos/eggs/sperm, once the baby is growing inside you, genetics don't even come into the equation. <br />Best of luck, hoping you both get on the same page soon. xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-85111949246171396002010-11-28T23:40:48.722+00:002010-11-28T23:40:48.722+00:00I understand the preference for donor embryos over...I understand the preference for donor embryos over donor eggs as well. It sounds terrible but I would feel some resentment if the child had my husband's DNA and not mine. With a donor embryo it is more equal and although you get connected to the baby because you are carrying it, your husband can connect with it too in his own way for 9 months by talking to it and sharing the pregnancy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-56055237277614593222010-11-28T06:38:33.499+00:002010-11-28T06:38:33.499+00:00This is so hard :( I would feel exactly the way yo...This is so hard :( I would feel exactly the way you feel about donor eggs, and I think you should tell DH about that feeling. It is totally normal to feel that way. I can also see his point about donor embryos, although, to be honest, even in pregnancies where both parents are genetically linked to the child, the father has very little to do. His role comes in strongly when the child is born.Sending you big supportive hugs, and hoping that the way is made a little smoother for you both soon XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXJeanniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06678729608908870257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-75992217487345290082010-11-27T21:38:57.944+00:002010-11-27T21:38:57.944+00:00I come from a similar position (Church-wise) and o...I come from a similar position (Church-wise) and our next step would definitely have been donor embryos. I know exactly what you mean about donor egg or donor sperm and the feeling of "betrayal" -- I think it is brave of you to even discuss it. I would feel the same way. Donor embryo is a lot like adoption but from the very beginning of the process so you still get to experience everything and be there from day one. I will pray for you both that the decision becomes clear soon. *hugs*quadmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17254199098599230245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-34593854083313115052010-11-27T14:04:14.739+00:002010-11-27T14:04:14.739+00:00i am sure you already know that this is a constant...i am sure you already know that this is a constant discussion in my house. My husband, like yours, does not like to think of things unless he knows he has no other choice. I am always 10 steps ahead. <br />I am thinking of you as you try to make sense of all of this and figure out what the best option for your family is. There are no right answers here and no easy choices.<br />Hang in there.cdghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174907373129154516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054933741560126677.post-76655729641984266192010-11-27T12:19:37.005+00:002010-11-27T12:19:37.005+00:00Ugh, this is so hard. We haven't talked a lot...Ugh, this is so hard. We haven't talked a lot about embryo donation yet, because we're planning on egg donation with my husband's sperm. But I definitely have those thoughts that go like: "but why does this baby get to have his DNA and not mine?" It's all so unfair (in the growing list of unfair things about all of this.) I've actually shared those thoughts with my husband. Not to make him feel bad, but to help him understand how hard it is for me to let go of my own eggs and go to donor eggs. I know you're in a slightly different situation, but I wonder if being able to share this with your husband (and maybe he'd share the same fears/disappointments?) would give you some common ground? I don't know if that makes sense for you or not. Take care of yourself and try to be patient with these discussions (ha! if only I could take my own advice ;-) )HopeBPatienthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05594281959818334437noreply@blogger.com