Well, that exercise I did where I thought about my support network couldn't have come at a better time.
Yesterday, I was on the phone to my BFF and she asked what we were up to this weekend. I told her I was thinking of going to the Fertility Show.
She immediately began to giggle, and said, "Those are two words that really shouldn't go together, aren't they?"
It wasn't the most sensitive response ever, but then my effortlessly fertile friend still thinks that the way you get pregnant is by having sex. I suppose that image doesn't really go with the idea of a show - or at least, not the sort of show that people like us would be going to.
I'm sure a few weeks ago I would have got quite upset at the way she responded. Yesterday I was able to laugh it off - I love her dearly, she will always be my best friend, but there are some things she just doesn't get. And since I'm not relying on her for support in this particular area, that doesn't matter. I know who I can rely on, and they won't make mistakes like that. So we can just be good friends, without the pressure of me expecting her to understand something that she never can understand and constantly being disappointed when she doesn't live up to my unrealistic expectations.
(Incidentally, I told Jeannie, who IS in my support network, about this conversation, and she said she was worried now that she might say the wrong thing. Let me just say again, Jeannie - the reason you're such a major part of my support network is because you NEVER say the wrong thing. Even if it's ever not what I wanted to hear, it's the right thing because of where it comes from and the understanding and desire to give me emotional support that I know is behind it.)
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I guess it is a good thing to manage your expectations. It feels important to know what you can expect from who so that you are less disappointed all around. I do wish your BFF was more sensitive but am glad you were able to laugh it off a bit. enjoy the fertility show, sounds interesting to me.
ReplyDeleteHi HopeSprings. I'm sorry i've been awol. I'm just catching up on your posts. I am learning so much from your fertility coach! I really like the homework she gave you about deciding who was in your support network and not taking it personally if someone outside that network offends you. What an amazing way to view things. I am always taking things far too personally so I think this excersize could be very very good for me to do as well.
ReplyDeleteHugs. PS, I gave in and brought the circle+bloom series as well. I think its worth the money. I like it a lot already.
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