Friday, 17 September 2010

He gets it

We were talking about money again last night. We have a joint current account, joint savings account and each have separate accounts as well. So far, the IVF has come out of the joint savings account, but there's not enough in there for the last attempt, so we need to find the money out of our separate accounts. I'm owed a bit of money which is about equal to the amount I need to find, and I was discussing with DH last night the fact that the person who owes it to me hasn't mentioned it for a while and I hope they haven't forgotten about it. I'd rather lose the money than fall out with this person, and it's an awkward time to ask for it, but I lent it before the redundancy was on the cards, so my own circumstances have changed significantly.

DH's instant response was that I mustn't worry about paying for the final IVF - he would cover the lot out of his own savings. I said things weren't that bad, and I should still be able to pay my share, but the response meant a lot to me and gave me a warm glow. It's not about the money - it's about the fact that he gets it. He knows how important this is to me, and it's as important to him as well.

There was another sign this week that he gets it. There was a lot of talk on our family e-mail group on Wednesday about SIL's pregnancy, the scan, the painting of the nursery, etc. As it happens, I was fine with it - now that the scan has happened and I've really appreciated how worried they were about the baby's heart, I think I've got over my jealousy a bit. But as soon as he got home from work that day, he gave me a huge hug and said how worried he'd been about me all day with all that talk going on.

He's come a long way from the man who said a year ago that he'd heard about some woman who couldn't have children and didn't want to be around pregnant women and babies and was glad I didn't feel that bad about our situation.


  1. I just realized I was smiling involuntarily through through this post! He GETS it! That is so wonderful. Especially how quickly he offered to pay and also that big hug and all the worry for you ... that must have felt so, so nice. =)

  2. Amazing. I had a similar experience in that it took my husband a long while to get it and not get frustrated with me for not wanting to be around babies. It feels so good when you are in the same place. Very glad that there is a way to work this out financially. I so wish these treatments were cheaper!! I also wish you get that money back, regardless of if you need it for IVF.

  3. He REALLY DOES get it. You two so deserve to be parents. xx