Friday 11 September 2009

Abandoned

Who would have thought my hopes could be dashed so quickly?

I turned up at the clinic this afternoon full of a mixture of hope and trepidation. Things had worked out perfectly - the next two weeks are going to be very quiet at work, and the timing couldn't be better for our treatment cycle to start. I've already booked a couple of days' holiday for two weeks' time and explained to my boss that when the time comes, I might need a bit of flexibility in exactly when I take them.

So the thing I really wasn't expecting to happen today was for the nurse to do a quick scan preparatory to sending me off to the pharmacy to pick up a bucketful of drugs, go a little bit quiet and then point out a big black blob in the middle of the grey streaks all over the screen and explain that it meant we were going to have to abandon this cycle - before we even start.

Apparently the big black blob is an ovarian cyst. It measures 17mm today, and if we went ahead with the treatment it would get in the way and skew the results when they're trying to measure my follicles and decide when to give me the cetratide and then do the trigger injection and egg harvest.

The nurse said in her experience, only perfect cycles work, and there's no point in starting on this one now, because it's not going to be a perfect cycle. She gave me the illusion of choice, but pointed out that we'll be throwing about £7,000 down the drain if we go ahead - so I think I'll keep my £7,000 and spend it on chocolate to make me feel better instead.

She said the cyst should be gone by next month and we can try again then. I asked what would happen if it hadn't gone, and she said, "I'm quite confident it will have gone."

I now need to stay away from Google, because the first site I looked at which talked about ovarian cysts said that most go away "within a few months". I'm pretty sure I didn't have one when we had our first appointment in the middle of July, so if it's appeared since then, what does "a few months" mean? I'd rather trust the experience of the nurse, who reckons she's seen loads of these and they've almost always gone by the following month.

So, it's back to another 23 days of waiting. Thank Heaven I have short cycles...

5 comments:

  1. Oh no! =( I am so sorry to hear that. I know how frustrating it is to have to wait when you're all geared up and ready to go. I don't know what sort of cyst you have, but if it's just a leftover follicular cyst from last cycle (most are I think) you could try the birth control pill. I tried it last time (a double dose of a low-estrogen pill, I can give you the exact details if you want) and my cyst was shrunk so much that I could have resumed cycling in a little bit over a week. The RE said she didn't expect it to happen so quickly, but maybe it would work for you, too?

    Just a thought. I am working on reading your other entries because I was on vacation before, but I saw this one just up and wanted to let you know about the pill. Also just wanted to offer you some support. *hug*

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  2. I have eaten a full half slab of chocolate in solidarity, and am now sending shrinking vibes out into the universe... Thinking of you and all our loveXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  3. Thank you both. I think she did say she thought it was a leftover follicular cyst, but I just have this vague memory of the first scan they did in July where the consultant also showed me a black hole and said, "This is where you ovulated from this month", and I'm wondering if it's the same one. I might phone them up on Monday for a little chat...

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  4. Just last month, the same thing happened to me. My first IVF, I'm all psyched up and ready to go, I do my CD3 bloodwork and then...bam! I have a cyst, E2 is too high, another month of birth control pills and THEN we'll see if we can proceed. Absolutely devastating. So very sorry that you're having to suffer through this.

    However, on the cyst front, by the following CD3, it was gone as promised. Birth control pills do wonders at getting cysts under control. That said, in the past when I've had them, even without BCP's, a month has been the magic time frame. So, hopefully that is the case for you as well.

    Good luck and take care!

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  5. Myndful, I'm sorry it happened to you too, but that's really reassuring to hear that your cysts did go away in that time frame - thank you. And good luck to you too.

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