Well, the baby didn't arrive on Sunday - or the next day, or the next. My sister went in to be induced yesterday, and UK Niece #4 finally appeared shortly before 2:00 this morning. She was 11 days late, and those 11 days (plus the previous week, after my sister was told the baby was fully engaged and could arrive at any time) have been Baby Central in this family, with daily updates emanating from my sister's neck of the woods and regular e-mails from my US SIL about what a special time this is, what a miracle it is to know that you're carrying a life within you, how great my sister is, how exciting it all is.
And don't get me wrong - it is exciting, my sister is great, and I can't wait to meet #4. I'll be going shopping for some cute little outfit during my lunch break today and hopefully meeting her after work. Happiness and excitement will be all around.
But am I remembering that after #3 was born while we were on our honeymoon, DH and I smiled at each other as we toasted her with champagne and said, "We'll be next"?
Am I remembering that if IVF #1 had been successful, I'd be pretty close to giving birth myself?
Has every one of US SIL's recent e-mails inadvertently pierced me to the heart as they emphasise exactly what I'm missing out on?
Did I turn again to DH after I put the phone down and say once again, "It's our turn next"?
And did I lie awake for an hour after that, thinking about the new baby, thanking God for the new life, but also aching to hold my own baby in my arms, before creeping downstairs to get a glass of milk and my laptop and try to quell the thoughts racing round my tired mind?
Yes to all of the above...
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Hugs to you. It IS your turn next, you are with a wonderful new clinic now who have proven to you that you have so much hope that you will be next in line. It's painful having those memories to remind you of what you don't have and especially when they are linked to something that means so much to you (your nieces/nephews).
ReplyDeleteI really want this for you. x
Congrats to your new niece! And YES, you will be next!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs from circus land :)
Huge hugs honey - and I also have faith you'll be in that position too soon now. And at least the emails from America can stop now - please? I read the "so glad you're having another" and wondered if it was aimed at me! Poor SIL would be horrified I know, but really...
ReplyDeleteI hope you're next, too.
ReplyDeleteIs there any way of making US SIL aware that her comments might be hurtful for your and your husband?
Congrats to your sister. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd it is a double-edged sword. It's wonderful, exciting news, but of course it has to sting quite a lot as well. The good news is, the new baby excitement will wear off soon, and then...it will be your turn. I believe that, I truly do!