Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Lots of talking

I've been busy in the 'real' world the last few days - since Monday was a bank holiday, we were able to have the nieces overnight on Sunday night while my sister and BIL got the baby stuff out of the loft and prepared their house for the arrival of the new baby. We also went to a party on Saturday night, had people over for supper on Sunday, and work is busy this week (especially when I keep finding myself googling stuff about redundancy rights rather than getting on with the job that still needs to be done until the 'consultation' is over).

In between all that, there's been a lot of talking going on. DH read that article the first chance he had after I mentioned it to him. He was then the one who raised it with me, saying he had found it very interesting. I asked if he identified with what the author had said, and he talked about how hard he has found it to raise any of his own doubts or fears about what we've been going through. I think he was relieved to see some of his feelings put into words and to realise that he's not the only one feeling that way.

We also talked again about the Foresight regime - again, raised by DH. We had a wardrobe we wanted to get rid of, and some friends came and took it off our hands on Monday afternoon. DH and my friend's husband carried it downstairs and got it into the car. It then occurred to all of us that my friend wouldn't be able to carry it with her husband up two flights of stairs to their flat, so she stayed and had a cup of tea with me while DH went with the husband to deliver the wardrobe.

When he came back (remarkably quickly), he was very proud of himself and said he was amazed that he had been able to do all that heavy lifting without getting out of puff and working up a huge sweat. He attributed it entirely to the general improvement in his health and fitness since we started the Foresight regime - and I think he's right, as he's actually been going to the gym a lot less since he started learning to drive (and doesn't work particularly hard when he's at the gym anyway).

His general level of health is so much better, he has *ahem* more stamina in the bedroom department, he looks trimmer and fitter, and I'm really hoping that it's had as good an effect on his boys as it has on him. He's also being an awful lot better about keeping his alcohol intake down, although I am allowing him the occasional drink.

And of course, the other thing we've been talking about is how we're going to manage without my salary. This is quite a big deal, as I earn more than twice what he does. We now reckon that we can manage on his salary and my redundancy payout until the end of this year, and have agreed that the time is right for me to have a go at doing freelance work - which will be much less lucrative, but will give me more time and less stress, particularly in the early stages before I build up much of a portfolio of work. Because it can be done at home and is not tied to a particular time of day, it's also something I could continue if and when we have a baby.

And on the having a baby thing, we already have the money earmarked for this next round of IVF. But last night he said, "I don't want you to have the stress of thinking this is our last chance. If we need to have another go after this, I have some savings that we can use for it."

Of course, he's made absolutely no provision for his pension, and it doesn't look as though we'll be building up many more savings in the future, so I'd rather not touch his 'running-away fund'. But as with my dad's offer the other day, it's nice to know he cares that much.

1 comment:

  1. It really sounds as though things are smoothing out nicely, and what isn't to love about that?