Thursday, 29 April 2010

Two people made me cry yesterday...

... but in completely different ways.

The first was one of my colleagues. He has a baby who is almost a year old. After the Big Bosses and the HR person had left the meeting room, we sat and discussed the news we had just heard, how it would affect us and what we might do next.

Everyone in the department knows about our IVF, although I've never had a direct conversation with this guy about it. He was sitting next to me as I said that our savings were a bit depleted because of the IVF and then feebly joked that if we ended up never having children, we wouldn't need much in the way of savings anyway.

He comes in almost daily with complaints of his sleep being disturbed by his baby, and he instantly piped up, "You can have mine."

I couldn't help it - out of nowhere, my eyes welled up and it took a couple of seconds for me to compose myself, especially after another colleague instantly defended me by pointing out to him what a crass comment that was.

And then there was the other end of the scale - when I told my dad about the meeting at work, he said, "I know you've got big expenses coming up, and I don't want this to get in the way of your IVF. If you need money, even if it's a lot of money, come to me first."

And that choked me up so much that it took a couple of seconds for me to be able to thank him, and although I don't ever expect to take him up on the offer, I'm just so grateful that he thought of it and that he obviously really appreciates how important this is to us.


  1. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man :) It's probably equally important to him. I think our parents want this to work almost as much as we do but they don't want to "burden" us with their hopes.

  2. I would very much like to bash your colleague upside the head, and I am extremely relieved that another colleague called him on the thoughtlessness of his statement.

    Reading about your Dad's offer almost made me cry. He obviously loves you so much, and what a wonderful and selfless way to show it.

  3. Oh, what a stupid comment from your work mate. I'm really pleased it made you cry (I realise how harsh that sounds but..) because if you had just shrugged it off and not made a big deal of it then he wouldn't have given it a second thought and would have gone on to say that same stupid line to some other poor infertile person. But I think your reaction (which is the exact one I would have had by the way) would have shown him that stupid one liners like that are of no help to anyone.

    And your dad... what a sweetheart. I agree it's more about the thought than the actual offering of money. It really does show that he knows how much this means to you and that he's recoginising it is a big deal to him to. You are lucky to have that support and I know you already know that. xxx

  4. *Hugs my darling father-in-law* :) Oh, and joins Myndi in bashing crass colleague upside the head!!!

  5. Can I hug your dad??? That is so nice and thoughtful. My parents have said the same thing to me, we have not taken them up on it yet (even though they are paying for my acupuncture sessions) but it is a comfort to know the help is there is we need it.
    after hugging your dad, I am going to slap your co-worker. People have no idea how lucky they really are.....

  6. Here from Mel's Friday roundup. I too am so glad someone called out your idiotic coworker on his totally thoughtless comment.

    And I want to hug your Dad too. : )

  7. Here from Mel's blog roundup. Thank GOODNESS for the colleague who called him out on that comment.

    My FIL told us, when we were in our very last IVF cycle, our last ditch effort to get pregnant, that if it didn't work, it "couldn't be the end" of our journey. He offered to pay for another cycle, as many as it took for us to get pregnant.

    To this day, I tear up when I remember that discussion. Because it was such a show of support and love to us. I am happy your dad is giving you that.