I've had another phone call that has made me feel better. My brother in the US, who has seven children and has not always made the most sensitive comments about this whole affair, phoned me up. Normally, the infertility/IVF thing is not mentioned at all, and since we haven't been making big announcements about all our appointments, there's no real reason for him to have brought it up now.
But after a bit of chit-chat, he suddenly asked how it was all going and what our next plans were, and rather than being all doctor-y and giving me slightly-more-knowledgeable-than-that-of-the-average-person-but-let's-not-forget-he's-not-a-fertility-specialist advice, he just listened, asked questions and made sympathetic noises.
And then he said, "It's sometimes hard for [SIL] and me to know what to say, because we're worried that anything we do say will sound a bit hollow, but we want you to know that we both think of you such a lot, and that all the family are constantly praying for you."
I'm not sure if he was also conscious of the timing and that's why he suddenly spoke up out of the blue, but I'm so pleased he said it. Between this and the conversation with my mother yesterday, I feel so much more supported.
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Oh my, your brother has 7 children? Well its no wonder infertility isn't the most favoured topic for you both to talk about. Getting 'advice' from someone with such a large number of children must be hard to swallow at times and I'm so pleased he has decided to actively listen instead. I think all we ask is that our feelings are acknowledged, we don't expect to be understood (especially by someone with 7 children! boy I just can't imagine having THAT many kids!!!) but a little acknowledgement goes a long way. I so glad you finally got what you deserved. x
ReplyDeleteI just feel so happy reading this post ... it's always so wonderful to know that family is trying to reach out and offer support. Even though they can't understand what you've endured your mom and brother are clearly keeping you in their thoughts and prayers and care so much for you and for your dream to have children. That's wonderful!
ReplyDeleteAnother fantastic post!! Very pleased to hear all this!
ReplyDeleteSounds at though there has been a great awakening in your family! Curse me for saying so, but somehow it just feels like something really good is coming your way soon. Like right now the weight is being incrementally lifted in preparation for the huge lift that is soon to be. ;)
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