Right decision - probably

Well, AF was due on Good Friday, and the original plan involved staying at home until Saturday so that I could get a blood test at the clinic on Saturday morning before heading off to visit my parents.

Having decided not to go ahead with this cycle, we left home on Friday morning, picked up DH's parents and dropped them at his sister's house, then got to my parents' house in time to go to church with the family.

And as for AF - the old witch didn't show up until Saturday morning! I'm taking this as a good sign - my cycles have got shorter over the last year or so, and had settled at about 25 or 26 days, with heavy spotting for two or three days before AF showed up. Since we started the new regime, I've had no spotting. The last two cycles were 26 days, and this one was 27. I know when I ovulated, and it seems that what is getting longer is the luteal phase, which was on the short side - getting more normal in length is good, I think.

But if I'd been hanging around at home waiting for a blood test, I would have been very frustrated and concerned at AF not showing up bang on time, and it really would have ruined all my plans for the weekend, so I'm glad I made the decision I did last week.

Apart from the erratic behaviour of AF, the weekend was good - but I'm very anxious that we should be able to go ahead with the next cycle, because I'm not sure my nerves can take much more of DH's cavalier attitude. On Easter Sunday, I said we could both have a bit of a break from being strict about our regime. For me, this meant a couple of pieces of chocolate and half a glass of champagne. For DH, it meant eat what you like with no pretence at moderation, and drink three pints of bitter and a couple of large glasses of wine.

By the time he rolled back from the pub, I was already in bed, fighting back tears and wondering whether there was any point in continuing to do this if he won't take it seriously. I did cry when he walked in, and I think that was a good thing, as it made him realise how much this is bothering me, and that it's not something I can do on my own. He promised to try harder to avoid alcohol and not to go over the daily recommended limit again until we finish with this regime - as I said to him, it's only four months out of our lives, but if he won't commit to doing it for those four months, we might as well give up now.

But we've arranged to go and see an old friend of his in the middle of May - and this friend ALWAYS gets him drunk. He won't want to say why he's not drinking, so I can guarantee that he'll be getting plastered that day. And then there's the World Cup, and my brother in the US is visiting in early June, and the occasions when DH is going to find it hard to say no to a drink are going to multiply.

So I think it was the right decision to postpone our treatment cycle this month - but I really hope we can go ahead next month, before DH drives me totally batty.