Monday, 9 November 2009

I should know this by now...

When someone announces their pregnancy by putting a copy of their scan picture on Facebook, I should post a message on their wall saying how pleased I am for them, or phone them up, or e-mail them.

Because if I post a congratulatory message under the scan picture, I end up getting 86 new notifications every time I go into Facebook over the next few days. And all of them are telling me that someone else is delighted to see the scan picture and is congratulating the person who's pregnant.

I am pleased for her. Honestly. But seeing those 86 congratulatory messages and reading all that excitement is such a huge reminder that I was hoping to make a similar announcement soon, and instead I had to post a carefully-worded message that told the people who knew about it that our first IVF cycle had failed, while not letting the people I didn't want to tell know what was going on.


  1. I had my 2nd IUI in July and SIL also started trying that month. Naturally my cycle failed, and I found out through Facebook that she got pregnant - the first month they tried! She didn't include pictures, which was wonderful, but sadly, I'm not sure it made much difference. I simply couldn't bear the news.

    No one who hasn't been through infertility will ever understand that pain. Sucks that there seem to be reminders everywhere. Facebook seems to be the worst of them all really.

  2. The Facebook announcements are so hard. You really want to say congratulations, but you're right then you get notified 800 times about other people's congratulations and it just rubs salt in the wound. I know you can turn off your notifications, but then you don't get notified when other stuff you want to keep track of changes. It's a lose-lose situation.

  3. I completely agree! The FB announcements are so hard, and the 86 notifications just feel like salt in the would. Some days, depending on the news, I feel like the wind got knocked out of me when I log-in to FB. So sorry you had to go through that!