Friday 8 January 2010

Mind games

So, this is the post that's going to make you all realise what a total fruitcake I am (if you hadn't already).

For the first time since we started this whole business, this month I have no two week wait. I know for absolute certain that I can't have conceived this month. There are two reasons for this certainty. One is that at the time I was ovulating, we were staying at my SIL's house, sleeping on the floor on a peculiar arrangement involving a cot mattress and the cushions from a sun lounger, with seven other people and two dogs in the house, I had a bad back, and there was no way we were getting any action.

The second reason is that DH suffers from delayed ejaculation, and even at the best of times there is a fairly mechanical extra step we have to take in order to get his crippled swimmers anywhere near my rotten eggs - and we haven't taken that extra step at any time during this cycle.

After I got the BFN (twice) on the last IVF, I stopped taking the Cyclogest and my period showed up as normal. Approximately 10 days later, I experienced all the usual symptoms of ovulation (though I still haven't gone back to charting, so don't know what my BBT has been up to).

So only an absolute fruitcake would keep catching herself noticing symptoms and wondering if they meant anything...

9 comments:

  1. Hahaha - I do this all the time!!

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  2. You're not a fruitcake! It's incredibly hard to break a habit - when you are so used to wondering if something could be a symptom, your mind does that before it remembers that there is no way there could be symptoms.

    Also, and this happened to me both months we missed ovulation and therefore I could not have been pregnant... there's that little voice which whispers that perhaps you just tested too early last month... perhaps that's why there was a BFN and PERHAPS the period you had was actually an implantation bleed... perhaps you're actually 6 weeks pregnant and only noticing symptoms now because this is when people start noticing them...

    See? You're not alone - I did that. HUGE HUGE hugs to you honey. I hope you get to have some peace of mind this cycle for at least part of it XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  3. I'm a crumb of that same fruitcake :)

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  4. You're not a fruitcake! I did that, too -- even after my D&C when I was banned from sex during the peak of my cycle and had zero lining. I STILL overanalyzed symptoms. I think IF makes us all a little crazy! =)

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  5. Oh my gosh, you are completely normal!!! Not in the least bit fruity, or if you are then so are the rest of us! At least we can be fruity together, We've all convinced ourselves that we've become pregnant via immaculate conception at some stage!!!

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  6. Thanks for the reassurance - I'm so glad we're all fruitcakes together!!

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  7. PS - I just checked my spam folder and there were 2 comments in there from you so I guess that explains why your comments were not showing up on my blog. I have no idea why they ended up there???? Anyway I've approved them now and I'll make sure I double check that folder more often in case more of your wise pieces of wisdom end up there. xx

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  8. Not crazy at all. You can't spend so much time every month ritualistically checking for symptoms, month after month, and not have it become habit. I imagine I'll be doing the same thing after my next normal cycle, even though I know chances will be slim. ;)

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  9. Gah - I wish I knew why it was doing that, Egghunt! I've posted another comment today, which has also disappeared, as well as disappearing comments on Myndi's blog and on the post you linked to. I don't understand it... x

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