Tuesday, 2 March 2010

A big day for DH

DH is taking his driving theory test today. I've never seen anyone study so hard and so long for a theory test, so I'll be extraordinarily surprised if he doesn't pass.

He still has no confidence - I took him out driving on Sunday, and the only thing that stopped it from being a complete and utter disaster is that I least I managed to remain patient and not yell at him or anything. I'm annoyed with his instructor, who ought by now, after 35 hours of lessons, at least to have calmed his nerves enough so that he doesn't panic when things don't go exactly according to plan.

As it is, I was trying to get him to turn left out of a junction which was on a slight incline. The car started to roll backwards and he completely panicked (although there was nothing behind us - we were coming out of an industrial estate onto a very quiet country lane) and put his right foot to the floor without moving it from the accelerator to the brake. Fortunately, he did nothing with his left foot, which remained firmly on the clutch, so although the engine made a nasty protesting noise, we didn't shoot out into the road and kill anyone. We were still rolling backwards until I grabbed the handbrake, though.

I gave him a stern talking-to on Sunday evening. He uses his lack of prior experience as a comfort blanket, constantly using it to make excuses for his lack of progress, and I think that's holding him back.

So I told him that after 35 hours of lessons, he is no longer a complete beginner and must stop making excuses and start approaching this whole business with more confidence in his ability to learn.

His father hasn't left his house other than in my car or for trips to the doctor or major occasions like our wedding since October 2007. He's had every test under the sun, and the final conclusion is that there's nothing physically wrong with him - but he had a little stumble one day, caught himself before he actually fell, and hasn't walked outdoors since for fear of actually falling one day. We even bought him a walker so he would have something solid to lean on, and he refuses to use it.

It drives me mad, because after all this time his muscles have atrophied and he really is becoming completely immobile, but it's all self-inflicted. Fortunately, it also drives DH mad, and he has said both to his mother and to me that if he ever starts to turn into his father, we're to shoot him.

Hopefully it was enough that I pointed out that his excuse-making and lack of confidence on the road are signs that I may need to get the shotgun ready - because if he's constantly repeating to himself internally that he's never going to be able to learn, then he's probably right. But if he tells himself he CAN do it, he'll also be right.

I love my husband, but sometimes he has as little oomph as his swimmers do, and I so hope that today he overcomes the little voice of negativity in his head and passes his theory test with flying colours - and that this then gives him a bit more confidence for actually learning to drive.

Update: He passed - now we can concentrate on the practical bit and hopefully he'll have a bit more confidence about getting behind the wheel now.

1 comment:

  1. Congrats on DH passing the test, and congrats to you too for being patient with him. It must have been very hard. I can only imagine what it would be like if I had to give my DH drivng lessons, it would be extremely challenging to say the least!