Today I'm having lunch with a colleague who knows about the IVF, having covered for me when I was due to teach the day after my first egg collection and the day of that embryo transfer. When I first told her I was doing IVF, her immediate reaction was, "How exciting!" At the time, I thought this was a little odd - what's exciting about being infertile and having to have intrusive treatment for it?
I was reminded of this last night. I'd spent the day at the clinic, having three bottles of IVIg and a bag of saline dripped into me over the course of five hours. I'd also had two blood tests and a scan and given myself two injections, and had two more injections that I had to do during the evening. A couple of my cousins who live in the US are in the country on holiday, and we met up for a meal last night. I explained away the huge bruises (honestly, despite the intensive monitoring, I haven't seen anyone else at the clinic who has bruising as bad as mine - I'm a delicate little peach really!) on my arms by telling them what was going on. The instant reaction from both of them was "Congratulations!!!"
I shuffled my feet and muttered that there was nothing to congratulate me on yet, and they said they were sure there would be soon. As we left them in the evening (way later than intended, given that Mr Miracle Worker keeps instructing me to take injections at 5 am and then be at the clinic for 7:30), both hugged me and wished me luck.
So is it exciting? It's a treatment for a horrible illness which affects my whole life. Would someone get excited and congratulate me on being in the middle of chemotherapy?
Clearly not, but still, it is exciting to know that I have a chance. It's exciting to be in the middle of treatment after all these months of waiting. And it's exciting to know that this technology exists, and that I'm being given an opportunity to go through this that is still only available to the privileged few.
Yes, in many ways I'm lucky. I just hope that over the next week or two, I'm going to get luckier still...