What more can I do?

This month's results are almost exactly the same as last month's. They are (with last month's in brackets to compare): FSH 6.9 (7), LH 3.6 (3.2) and oestradiol 230 (222). So the blasted oestradiol is still the sticking point, and I'm to go in again tomorrow morning for another blood test and a scan - no doubt to be told exactly what I ended up being told last month: "No, not suitable this month."

In one way I'm relieved - as I said, I really wasn't sure I wanted to do this during my last three weeks of work, and if my levels improve next month, I'll be able to relax completely while going through treatment, as I'll have finished work and have nothing else I need to do.

But that's the sticking point - IF my levels improve. And at the moment it seems to be a very big IF.

DH and I finished our four month programme of supplements about a month ago, and about two weeks ago we cut each other's hair again to send it off for reanalysis. I haven't sent it off yet - it costs money, and I thought if we were able to go ahead with treatment, we'd have our proof there that the supplements had done their job.

So now what do I do?

Send off the hair and pay the money, with no real evidence that the supplements are working? Because if a high oestradiol level can artificially make your FSH reading lower, then the improvement I thought I was seeing in my levels is illusory.

Not send it off and risk undoing the good that we've done over the last few months? Because we're definitely healthier and fitter than we were when we started all this. But then we've also made changes to our diet which I'm going to keep in place for as long as I can, so how much of the improvement in health is down to that?

I feel this strange mixture of relief that I don't have to cycle this month and fear that I might never be able to. But mostly I just feel desperate to know whether there's anything I can do to bring down my oestradiol levels.

And so it's back to waiting...