If you say "I'm going to appreciate every minute of this for as long as it lasts", are you being positive because you're living for the moment and appreciating what's happening now, or negative because in doing so you're demonstrating that you don't expect it to last long...?
Actually, the intensiveness of the monitoring and treatment this time round makes it hard to think further ahead than today anyway. And although I won't be monitored during the 2WW, I will still be injecting, swallowing and maybe shoving (progesterone suppositories), so there'll be plenty to keep me occupied then as well.
Today I did my Cetrotide jab at 6:45 am, left home at 7:15, had my blood test (first time I've got a huge bruise from that place - butchers!) and scan (still four follies in contention, and a bit bigger than on Thursday, but this time there were two on each ovary, rather than three on the left and one on the right - not sure what happened there!), went to the pharmacy to pick up my Clexane and Dexamethasone, took the Dex with breakfast on the train home, picked up DH and took him out to lunch in a nice country pub, got the daily call from the clinic while we were waiting for our food to arrive and had to go straight away to shoot up 450 IU of Fostimon in the loo, did some shopping, visited DH's parents, came back and had a cup of tea with a couple of the neighbours, then did my Clexane job and took my aspirin. And now it's bedtime.
So no, not much time to think and stew over what the outcome may or may not be. But whatever it is, I feel absolutely confident that Mr Miracle Worker is doing everything he possibly can to make that outcome a positive one, and every jab and pill, and every bruise and twinge (yes, the bloating is back with a vengeance, and my stomach is feeling tender) feels like one more positive step towards the goal we're all aiming for.
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I think you've got the perfect attitude. And the intense monitoring is a blessing if it helps your brain to not get too far ahead of itself. Thinking of you and glad you've still got 4 good ones to work with.
ReplyDeleteHope the clexane doesnt bruise too much (ahh, whats another bruise if it means a baby at the end, right?) xxx
You're not actually being remotely pessimistic. If you stand at the university graduation of a child which is conceived through this cycle, I bet you'll still be able to say to yourself that you're enjoying it... God willing that the "as long as it lasts" bit then takes you up to the last breathe of a happy and fulfilled old age! I think it's exactly the right attitude to have and I'm also very glad to hear all about how minutely it's being managed. He's certainly giving you the best possible chance honey. *HUGS HUGS HUGS*!!!
ReplyDeleteBeing busy can be a really good thing, especially for those of us who obsess over every little thing. Crazy having to take shots at all these different intervals, but impressed as usual that you are making it work! And I think you have a great attitude about it all. :)
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