Friday, 18 December 2009

The answer to my prayers

When the spotting slowed down and then stopped, I started praying really hard. Every time I thought about it, and every time I wiped and saw nothing, I said, "God, this is great - I'm getting excited about this. But if I'm going to get a negative result on Friday, I'd actually rather have a heads-up now. Please don't give me false hope and then let me come crashing down on Friday morning."

And now I have the answer to my prayer. And the answer is a big fat NO.

If He couldn't give me a baby, couldn't He at least have given me that?

For the record, I now know that not only do different people react differently to Cyclogest, but the same person can react differently on different cycles, even if the medication and dosage are identical on both cycles and they're only two months apart.


  1. I'm so sorry :-(
    Sending big hugs your way.

  2. hey honey, i'm, once again, right here with you and I'm sorry you had to join me here, I was really wishing it could be different for you. Its a horrible place to be and no amount of experience makes a BFN any easier. I am sure we'll both pick ourselves up again really soon but for now it feels like my world has crashed and there are pregnant bellies everywhere else but on my body. I know its not much but maybe its some consulation to at least know you have a BFN buddy too.

  3. Sorry to hear this. Coco x

  4. I got a surge of hope when I saw your post's title and then when I read your entry there were tears in my eyes. I can't believe the Cyclogest behaved so differently this time that it made the spotting go away for a while. What a cruel way to find out it's a no. I just don't understand how this is happening. I am so terribly sorry and wish I could take away the pain you are in right now. I wish I had better words to type that could offer some peace or change all this. Please know that I'm praying for you for strength and peace during this time.

  5. I am so, so sorry that this cycle didn't pan out. Not the way to step into the holiday weeks. Thinking of you, and sending you tons of hugs and positive vibes. :)