Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Briefly emerging from the closet

I know I said I wasn't going to tell my family about this cycle - and that's still mostly true. But Jeannie obviously knows about it, and my sister and her family will be visiting Jeannie for Christmas.

Also, to carry on the theme of slightly unfortunate timings, I realised at the weekend that I already have something in my diary for Official Test Day. My sister is being pulled in several different directions that day, so I'll be looking after Niece #3 and taking her with me to Niece #1's end-of-term Mass followed by Niece #2's playgroup nativity play, while my sister is at the hospital having an antenatal checkup for Niece (or Nephew) #4.

When talking to my sister yesterday about the plans for that day, I thought it was only fair to warn her what else will be going on that day - having sworn her to secrecy and warned her several times that she's not to mention it to my parents, on pain of death.

Her first reaction when I told her what all the timings were was, "So you're pregnant right now this minute!"

"No," I replied. "I'm PUPO - just pregnant until proven otherwise."

I said I hadn't intended to tell anyone, partly because I didn't want to ruin their Christmas as well as ours if we get another BFN, and partly because of some of the insensitive (if usually well-meaning) comments I got last time.

She said, "What if I accidentally say something insensitive?"

I replied, "I'm confident you won't."

But she persisted, "I'm sitting here surrounded by antenatal stuff, though, and I've asked you to look after my children while I go for an appointment. That's a bit insensitive."

And that concern and understanding that she shows is why I absolutely meant it when I said, "There is nothing that could ever happen to me that would make me anything less than happy for your good fortune."

It amazes me that here she is on her third pregnancy in a little over three years, and yet she totally understands and is sensitive to my situation. I'm so lucky to have her, and if being babysitter of choice for her children is the closest I get to my dreams, I know I'm still luckier than a lot of people.

(I'd still love to be able to give them another cousin, though...)


  1. She is wonderful, bless her, and so are you, and I miss you both, and the rest of the Usual Suspects, so so much!!! Also praying for a little cousin, and sending huge hugs and positive thoughts XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  2. That is so rare to have someone so super-fertile be able to understand your situation and treat you with such concern and compassion. You are lucky to have her in your life! I am praying they get news of a little cousin in the next week or so as well!

  3. Wow...wonderful, wonderful sister! You are both so blessed! Sending you positive thoughts for peace in the remainder of the 2ww!

  4. What a wonderful sister you have! I also have to say that you are an inspiration. I so admire your strength, attitude and perspective.

  5. I think you are both lucky to have each other. I'm sure she appreciates your support as much as you do hers. Sometimes, strangely enough its the most fertile person in your life who understands you the most (i'm the same, I have a great friend who could get pregnant by just thinking about sex and she's been amazing to me throughout all my IF dramas).
    Hang in there, your tww must be almost half over by now? xx

  6. Came by from Mel's chain commenting! I'm so glad that you have a sister who is so understanding and caring about what you're going through. I hope this 2ww goes quickly and that you get great results soon.