My first thought on getting the BFN call last Friday was to wonder if we ought to change clinics again. There's another London clinic which also has very good results (though not as good as XXXX clinic) and specialises in treating women with high FSH. I wondered if I might be better off there.
But I've grown to love XXXX clinic, with its boot camp regime and all its little quirks. And what's the point of going to another clinic which might be willing to treat me with high FSH if ultimately it's not going to work anyway? Their results definitely aren't as good as XXXX clinic's.
So I did some more research, and I discovered that the other place doesn't do daily monitoring and doesn't give as much aftercare if you get that elusive BFP. And a lot of people who aren't successful first time at XXXX clinic are successful second (or third, fourth, fifth or sixth) time. Not that we intend to keep going forever, because we don't have that sort of money and I don't think I can take that sort of physical or mental stress, but we do want one more go.
And so I've come back round to the idea that XXXX clinic is the right place for me.
Even the BFN experience was so much better than at the old place. For a start, I feel more comfortable with them phoning to give me the result rather than me having to do an HPT and phone them. And honestly, the person who called me sounded as gutted as I was about it.
She said they'd call again a couple of days later to see how I was. They never did, but I like to think they would have done had I not called back to arrange our follow-up appointment and got an appointment so soon afterwards. I was also impressed that the person who answered the phone knew I had just got my result that day and expressed sympathy before getting down to the business of setting up the appointment.
I only want to go through this again if it's going to work, but I'll only ultimately know whether it's going to work by having another go - a bit of a Catch-22 situation. But having researched that other London clinic and a place that's been recommended to me outside London, I do know that XXXX clinic is the place I want to go through it. Now I have to hope they're still willing to work with my recalcitrant ovaries...