Thursday, 12 August 2010

One more day to go

I've had plans for every day this week, and they have helped to make the week go faster. Today, though, I've deliberately kept my plans very fluid - when planning my week, I had to be prepared for the possibility that I would be a nervous wreck by today, and possibly already plunged into the pits of despair by the knowledge that this IVF hadn't worked.

So today I'm waiting for a call from the garage about whether they can fit my car in for a repair. One of my neighbours brought round a big bag of wild plums the other day, so I might make some plum jam. If the sun comes out and we get some good drying weather, I might do some laundry. Apart from those things, I have a big pile of supplements from the last few weeks' Sunday papers that I haven't had time to read, so I'm planning a lazy day working my way through those.

I still have fewer symptoms than I've had on either of my first two IVFs - or even on a lot of the 2WWs I had when we were TTC on our own. I know that the symptoms I do have are entirely caused by the drugs I'm on, and amazingly I've had no real urge to symptom spot over the last 12 days.

Last night I dreamt that I took my top off and saw that my boobs had suddenly increased to three times their normal size and turned bright purple. I thought to myself, "So THIS is what they mean by changes in your boobs - that's fairly unmistakeable. I must be pregnant." In real life, my boobs are resolutely staying their normal size, shape and colour, and the prominent veins I usually get before AF have never materialised.

I'm a little bit crampy on and off, and I had a little moment last night when I convinced myself it hadn't worked and AF was on her way, but today I'm back to having absolutely no idea. I'm not full of wild optimism, but nor am I full of despair - I just really don't know what tomorrow will bring. Strangely, I have no desire whatsoever to POAS, and am quite content just to wait and see what they tell me tomorrow.

I wonder how long this calm mood will last...


  1. Hoping, hoping, hoping for wonderful news tomorrow!!

  2. glad you have an aura of calm - for the moment at least! Enjoy your day!

  3. I have everything crossed for you and am ramping up the prayers! I am soooo hopeful for great news tomorrow.

  4. Best of luck for tomorrow, I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xx

  5. xxx holding my breath for you, Really hoping for great news for you tomorrow.
    PS - I had a giggle at your dream. Its so funny what our mind gets up to when we are asleep!!

  6. dropping by one last time before bed to say i have thought of you all day and am still praying!