Saturday, 10 October 2009


So, we currently have four people offering to be our 'responsible adult' - or at least to do the driving on egg collection day. I mentioned it to DH this morning and pointed out that while they're hanging around at the hospital, I'll mostly be asleep and he and whoever it is who's driving us will be hanging out together - so I asked him who he would prefer to hang out with.

His response of "Why don't we just get a taxi there and back?" did NOT go down well with this hormonal and slightly-apprehensive-about-having-surgery-however-minor-it-is wife.

We've actually discussed the taxi option before, and I explained that when I've just woken up from an anaesthetic and am feeling a bit sore and delicate, I don't want to have to wait around for a cab, then get into a strange vehicle which will probably smell of one of those dangly air fresheners they all seem to have in there and make polite conversation with a stranger, who will neither know nor care how I'm feeling and is likely to bounce over every pothole in the area and screech round corners at uncomfortably high speeds.

Having explained that AGAIN (and pointed out that we've already had this conversation), I hit him below the belt with, "Of course, the best option would be if you could drive us, but you can't, so the next best thing is at least to have someone I know driving."

He's now gone out for the day to visit his parents, leaving me feeling guilty about throwing that in his face - but I don't think I'm the only one being unreasonable here. It is, after all, two years now since I first mentioned to him that he might find it useful to be able to drive. And it's three months since we found out we would need IVF and I pointed out that there were likely to be days during the treatment when I would be unable to drive and it would be REALLY useful if he could. And it's two months since I told him all I wanted for my birthday was for him to learn to drive. So it's not like I'm throwing something new in his face that he couldn't have done anything about by now.

Another thing he doesn't do is cook, and the pre-op sheet that I had to sign said I shouldn't operate any dangerous machinery "such as cookers" for the 24 hours after egg collection. So I'm now going to spend most of the weekend cooking for the freezer, for all those occasions when I'm going to be unable or unwilling to slave over a hot stove.

I made the mistake of mentioning the "dangerous machinery" clause to DH, and he has picked up on this and said he definitely won't be learning to cook now he's got official confirmation that cookers are dangerous. I THINK he was joking.

I feel a little aggrieved this morning, but also a little guilty for upsetting DH by showing him that I'm a little aggrieved. I think I'd like to go to sleep now, and wake up when all this is over and I've got a little bun in my oven.


  1. Aw I am sorry you're feeling frustrated with him. If it's any consolation, when I woke up from the retrieval I felt totally fine that we hailed a cab (we were in NYC), I walked to Penn Station, took a train to New Jersey, and a 1.5 hour car ride to my house from there. And I promise you I was totally fine. If DH hadn't known how to cook, I could have microwaved some stuff (but definitely not cooked a whole meal!). Anyway, I just wanted to reassure you that the surgery really wasn't bad at all and if I hadn't gotten the OHSS later I would have considered it the least painful post-op recovery of all 5 surgeries I've had!

    I am glad you're freezing some meals for yourself, and I still think you should pretty much get whatever you want on the day of the surgery (because, hey, YOU are having surgery, not him!). The woman has is it so much worse in IVFit seems.

  2. Thanks, that does make me feel better. I'm just remembering the previous times I've had surgery, when I really wouldn't have fancied hanging around waiting for a cab. Also the whole not driving thing is becoming an increasing source of tension, because it's one of the few things I've asked him to do for me and I find it hard to accept that he knows how much it means to me and still won't even look into it.

    On the other hand, I now have a nice full freezer, and he's just washed all the dishes from my cooking and is going to have a little rest before he does the hoovering and cleans the bathroom, so I can't complain too much...