Monday 26 October 2009

Rollercoaster watch - day 3

Once again, thank you all so much for your comments on the last couple of posts - I really appreciate all your support and prayers.

Well, yesterday I got the 'need to eat right now' thing again at one stage. I also had a headache all day, but my Ribena smelt and tasted fine.

I went for coffee with some other friends after Mass and realised that I really am weeing an awful lot more than usual. I had put it down to all the extra water I was drinking, but yesterday morning I hadn't had any more to drink than I would usually have done by that stage in the day. The last time I met these friends we chatted for the same length of time and had the same number of drinks, and as we were getting ready to leave I thought maybe I ought to go to the loo before heading home. This time, I had to go four times in the course of our conversation and then needed to go as soon as I got home as well.

The spotting stayed insubstantial enough not to bother me too much during the day - sometimes a bit there when I wiped, sometimes not. I also read how common spotting is, especially after IVF, and so relaxed a bit about it - until the evening, when it suddenly increased to a level where I needed to use a pad. There's just a tiny bit on the pad, though, and there was none first thing this morning.

My boobs are MUCH less sore, and my BBT went down again last night, although it's still above the cover line. And this morning I woke up with AF-type cramps.

So there you have it - I think it's way more likely that I'm not pregnant than that I am. I was very tempted to POAS this morning to see if I could put myself out of my misery, but it's not quite two weeks since my trigger shot and it's only 12 DPO, so I run the very real risk of either a false positive or a false negative. I'll be good and wait.

In the meantime, I think I've convinced DH that it's all over bar the bleeding, and we've worked out that with work commitments in November and Christmas clinic closure in December, the next time we'll be able to try will be January. I hope my old ovaries last out that long.

The consolation prize for failing this cycle will be a trip to South Africa - we've been planning it for months, but decided we wouldn't go if I was pregnant. Jeannie, it looks like we'll probably be seeing you soon - if this pans out the way I'm expecting it to, I'll be booking our tickets next Saturday.

3 comments:

  1. Oh honey, I am so so so sorry if this turns full blown AF. I hope either you get some peace of mind soon, and I hope it does just stay at spotting and then disappears. But whatever happens make sure you take some time out for yourself as this process is such an emotional experience.
    Much love, xxxx

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  2. It's not over yet, but I can completely understand the way you're viewing things - I'd do the same. Thinking of you, S x

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  3. Just caught up to speed this morning and I just wanted to give you a big hug. I wish there was something I could say to make the process easier but the truth is I don't know which way this is going to go. I am praying for you everyday that your dreams and prayers are answered so I know it will happen for you and you will be parents, I just don't know when. Hang in there Rucksack & Ray-Ray, and for you & DH there is still hope xx

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